Myslovitz USA

My friend Lukas translated an article about jokes [source] into English from Polish for me. I don't think the jokes translate too well into English, though!


They called their band Myslovitz from the name of their hometown. Their first self-titled LP became a great success. The next one, "Sun Machine" was a huge hit. Now they recorded a new album, "Z rozmyslan przy sniadaniu". They started as a quartet. Now there's five of them. When talking to them you don't know what's a joke and what's not. Despite one of the musicians having a really funny name. What exactly amuses the band "Myslovitz"?
 

MYSLOVITZ
Something with jokes nr 9 z 20-05-98


Jacek Kuderski - bass
Wojtek Kuderski - drums
Przemek Myszor - guitar
Wojtek Powaga - guitar
Artur Rojek - vocal


Przemek Myszor

Zodiac sign: Cancer
hobby: films
favorite beverage: juices
favorite meal: don’t ask me about food, we won’t get outta here till the evening

Funniest experience in life?

Probably my church wedding. Me and my wife got our rings mixed up. She took mine and kept on thrusting in on my finger with an intense look on her face.

What amuses you?

Monty Python and abstract humor.

Favorite joke?

There was a blind jockey. He meets another jockey who asks him:
- Are you starting in the Grand Race this year?
- I see no obstacles.

Or:
A bunny goes to a brothel. He meets a gopher.
- Where are you going? – asks the gopher.
- To get laid.
- Take me with you.
- I thought you were blind?
- I’ll just listen then.
So they go together. All of a sudden the bunny trips and curses:
- fuck..
The gopher hearing this:
- Good afternoon ma’am.

Jacek Kuderski

Zodiac sign: Virgin
hobby: riding a bike
favorite beverage: beer and wine
favorite meal: veal

Funniest experience in life?

I wish I knew.
 
What amuses you?
Abstract humor. Well, and ... Wojtek Powaga.

Favorite joke?

There’s a village called Mieleń, near Myslowice. For all the jokes about Wachocko, here we tell them about Mielen:
- Why do people in Mielen participate in a church mass laying down?
- Because the organ player hits really low notes.

Or:
- Why do people dress up during the thunderstorm?
- They think the photographer’s arrived.

Artur Rojek

Zodiac sign: Byk [Taurus]
hobby: films
favorite beverage: a lot, coffee for instance
favorite meal: eggs, in any form


Favorite experience in life?
I went to “Digital” once. Some fidgeting guy walks up to me and asks: "Are you from Myslovitz". I got a little nervous myself and I say, yea. Then he asked me for an autograph. He gave me a marker, and I have this habit of chewing pens. I took the cap off the marker and put it in my mouth. I signed it, to Ula, Zosia, Kasia and a few other people with this marker cap in my mouth all this time. When I was done I gave him back the marker and said: "Oh, and the cap”. I took it out of my mouth and I said giving it back: "Sorry, I chewed it a little." He had absolutely no idea what I had just done though.

What amuses you?

I laugh every time Lala gets pissed off. He plays the drums. Some girl once said he looks like a doll (lala). It may not be true anymore, but the nickname has caught on.

Favorite joke?

I know a lot but they’re not good to say. I also love funny situations from movies. Like one from “Big City Lights” with Michael J. Fox. He worked for this one firm as a serious businessman, and in the same time as a mailroom guy. He always used to change his clothes in the elevator. Once the elevator stopped midway on some floor, and he didn’t have enough time to change. The elevator opens, some woman enters, and he’s in his underwear. He saw her ... and started stretching.


Wojtek Powaga

Zodiac sign: ...
hobby: parachutes
favorite beverage: beer
favorite meal: roasted chicken


Funniest experience in life?
I am constantly amusing. So everything around me is funny.

What amuses you?

Myself. My mirror reflection, a pimple on my face....

Favorite joke?

I don’t think any is worth repeating. There’s one about pulling something over your head, that makes the hair fall out. You can imagine.


Wojtek Kuderski

Zodiac sign: Scorpio
hobby: marihuana and hashish (we don’t know if he’s serious!)
favorite beverage: wine
favorite beverage: something spicy


Funniest experience in life?
At a party once, I saw a woman wearing a huge hat. I couldn’t stop laughing.

What amuses you?

A lot of things. I don’t know how to call them

Favorite joke?

Idzie moja z twoją a nam dzidy stoją. (hard to translate, heh. Goes something like: there goes yours and mine, and our dicks are up. Lol. It rhymes in Polish)
Or:
There was this girl who had a horrible breath. She didn’t wanna be dragged to this one party but she finally went. And she sits there by herself, not dancing. Some guy approaches her and asks her to dance, but she shakes her head.
- why aren’t you dancing?
- Just because.
- did you just fart?
- No.
- There, you did it again!


Aren't our lives that much more complete now that we've read all that? I think so. Thanks again to Lukas!

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